Female sexual satisfaction

Do unto others
as you would have them
do unto you

The Golden Rule, or
the ethic of reciprocity

As I interpret it, that would imply that:

If

a man uses a woman’s body for his sexual pleasure (“do unto others”)

then

he should ensure that his body is used for hers (“do unto you”).

Carrying this to an extreme (which, in fact, in some cases is very justifiable),
I would paraphrase President Kennedy:

Ask not what pussy can do for you,
but ask what you can do for pussy.

---

For some possible ways to enhance female sexual satisfaction,
you might find of interest
“Positions for cunnilingus” and
“Cowgirls.”

There is also an interesting web site: Sexuality Source, run by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright.

Miscellaneous Articles

2010

2010-01-30-WP-Hesse-G-Spot

New research snub of G spot leaves many hot and bothered
By Monica Hesse
Washington Post Style Section, 2010-01-30

[An excerpt; emphasis is added.]

Earlier this month, British researchers decided that the spot
was either completely fictitious or completely subjective.
Earlier this week,
some 1,000 French gynecologists at a conference on the G spot decided that
the English needed to keep looking.

...

The trouble is that

the study of female sexuality
is notoriously underdeveloped and notoriously complex ...

...

[T]he G spot remains an elusive Snuffleupagus of sex studies:
utterly real to some women,
a baffling, shame-inducing fantasy to others.
Every few years, another study comes out saying that
it’s been found or it hasn’t,
and either way some portion of the female population
is left feeling, somehow, wrong.

...

[For considerable further information on this subject,
especially a 30-minute video of women attesting to
their personal experiences with their G-spot,
please see the post “The G-spot”.]

2015

2015-02-13-WP-Kristen-Page-Kirby-fifty-shades-of-grey

I felt dirty watching ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ —
and not because of the sex
by Kristen Page-Kirby
Washington (Post) Express Reelist, 2015-02-13

[Kristen Page-Kirby makes several points about
women, sex, and stereotypes about
gender differences in attitudes towards sex
that I (who is male) that I had suspected,
but had not found many places where women made these thoughts explicit.
For that reason I am reprinting most of her column,
not because I think this movie is significant,
or out of approval of BDSM,
but so there is no chance that
I take some of her remarks out of context.
Anyhow, I have emphasized what I considered significant,
and added some remarks on why that was so.]

OK, yes, I read “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Everyone else was doing it,
and it was supposed to be so amazing!
Women! Reading things! About sex! Imagine!
[That is amazing???]
And now the movie tries to continue that sense of amazement,
the wonder that women might want to see a movie about sex.
Kinky sex, at that!
Too bad that sex is the last thing that “Fifty Shades” is about.

Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) is a super-powerful mogul
whose sexual tastes include and are limited to BDSM —
bondage, domination, sadism and masochism
(all with the full consent of his partners).
Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) is
an essentially powerless and untouched woman —
she’s a virgin and says she’s never done “other stuff” —
whose sexual tastes include … well, we’re not quite sure what she likes.
At one point she REALLY likes a peacock feather,
but the choice to get down and birdy isn’t hers.

The message of “Fifty Shades” is harmful.
Not the BDSM stuff:
What consenting adults get down to in the bedroom
(or in the living room or on the kitchen table)
is perfectly fine as long as they don’t wake the neighbors.
But “Fifty Shades” relies on the same tired tropes we’ve seen a thousand times,
the same messages we’ve heard from sources as varied as
religious fundamentalists and Nicholas Sparks novels:
Women’s sexuality is pure and something to be controlled.
Men’s sexuality is something to be feared and, eventually, tamed.
Moreover,
women should have no sexual urges
until they arrive at heterosexual-partnered sex,
at which point the man and his magical member appear
and it’s orgasms for everyone, every time!
Men, on the other hand, are not only expected
to start their sexual lives early,
but their sexuality permeates every aspect of their lives:
business, romance, shopping for hardware
(not a joke! Actually happens in the movie!).

[Several points might be of interest.

First, from the traditional Christian point of view,
those gender differences do not exist.
In much of traditional Christianity,
sex outside of marriage was adultery and thus a sin,
for both men and women.
Chastity until marriage was expected of both men and women.

Second, in the secular culture,
which to me amounted to what I could glean from various print media,
books and magazines, growing up in the 1950s and 60s,
some of such stereotypical expectations did exist.
We were told about "Don Juans", based on Mozart's Don Giovanni.
We were told that some men wanted to "score."
(Which was defined to be male penetration to male orgasm.
The concept of women having their own sexual desires,
and their own right to obtain pleasure to their orgasm,
sadly did not exist, in at least the world I was brought up in.)
Such talk permeated the media
(but certainly not my home environment, my church,
or either the high school or college I attended).

Third, at least as of 2014, a new view of adolescent male sex
is being propounded by various responsible figures.
Now a male high school student who has sex with a significantly older woman
is viewed as a victim.
Somehow this damages the poor little thing.
This viewing of young men as potential victims
was brought to my attention
in the case of Molly Shattuck being accused of committing a crime in her acts,
and in the elaborate justification for viewing her actions as such
in the relevant Boston Sun editorial
and practically everything else I have read about this situation
in the print media.
The media does mention that some people do not view her acts as criminal,
but they are not the designated "experts" that are mainly quoted.
A further example is given by the prosecution in Louisiana
of two nice-looking high school English teachers
who had sex with one of their students.
Interesting, to me at least,
is that the student did not consider the sex he had with his teachers as a crime,
but, not to worry, the responsible authorities,
presumably responding to community pressure,
do consider it criminal.
Well, whatever your attitude on this matter is,
criminalizing adult women who have sex with teen-age boys
seems inconsistent with
the "expectations" that Kristen described in her article above.

Fourth,
should boys be lauded for being "studs",
while girls are criticized for being "sluts"?
I think not.
That does seem to be clear discrimination.

Fifth,
I believe that men should be expected to give women the same sexual pleasure they receive,
and be given appropriate instruction and support to enable them to succeed in that task.]

...

Add that to
the overly simplistic, incredibly repetitious message of the film —
he completes her with his penis,
she fixes him with her purity —
and “Fifty Shades” is nothing new.
It’s a message we’ve been beaten with before.

2016

2016-03-01-NYT-female-viagra-addyi-flibanserin-sex-drive-women

‘Female Viagra’ Only Modestly Increases Sexual Satisfaction, Study Finds
By SABRINA TAVERNISE
New York Times, 2016-03-01

...

In the new study, published in JAMA Internal Medicine,
researchers found benefits that were slightly more modest than
those submitted to the F.D.A. during the approval process.
The researchers analyzed eight studies of about 5,900 women,
using a method that involved pooling the data.
They concluded that treatment with flibanserin, now marketed as Addyi, resulted in
“one-half of an additional sexually satisfying encounter per month.”
(The study did not define what “one-half” of a sexually satisfying encounter was.)

That result was not very different from the original findings of three clinical trials submitted to the F.D.A. as support for the drug’s approval.
Those trials found that once women started taking the drug,
they had an average of about one additional satisfying sexual encounter a month,
on top of the two to three they were having already.
That result lifted the benefits above the bar of being scientifically meaningful, but only barely.
Still, it was enough for the agency’s approval.

...